


Dr. Horrible Goes Back In Time:  Left Turn

by lunabee34 (Lorraine)



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Humor, Post-Canon, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-09
Updated: 2009-12-09
Packaged: 2017-10-04 07:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorraine/pseuds/lunabee34
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Contains spoilers for all three acts in addition to horribly rendered vocals linked before each song's lyrics. Sung by me.  Yes, that horrible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dr. Horrible Goes Back In Time:  Left Turn

Dr. Horrible, Ph.D. in Horribleness, puts on the red for the last time. He fits the goggles over his eyes and takes a deep breath, his black gloved hands clenched into fists at his side.

 

"You ready?" Moist asks, his damp finger poised above the Go button.

"I'm ready," Dr. Horrible says, closing his eyes, and when he opens them again, he's just Billy in jeans and an old button down and the last six months are gone like they never happened.

 

[I was a dolt with half a brain](http://lunabee34.livejournal.com/173334.html)

**I was a dolt with half a brain  
And I can't find words that will explain  
Why I threw away it all for Evil's siren call  
When what I wanted all along was pretty plain.**

Listen close and you will hear her heart  
Beating once again  
And in this life we'll never be apart  
I won't be that man

I cannot believe my eyes,  
How the world gives a second try  
To a horrible kind of guy  
And it's plain to see  
The evil inside of me  
Met its demise.

I'm not some stupid Johnny Snow  
I make Time stop and I make it go  
And now everything is new  
Captain Hammer has no clue  
And the Evil League of Evil can just blow (me)

Listen close and you will hear my heart  
Beating once again  
Dr. Horrible will have no part  
I'm a brand new man.

I cannot believe my eyes  
I can finally reach the prize  
And it's plain to see  
The evil inside of me  
Met its demise.

 

Billy watches the Wonderflonium van pull away from the curb, and he doesn't even care. He doesn't care one bit because any second now, Penny will tap him on the shoulder and Billy will turn around and she will not be covered in blood and she will not breathe wetly through the hole in her chest and the words on her dying lips will not be Captain Hammer's name.

"Hi," Penny says, and Billy knows he's staring at her like a total creep, but he can't help himself. "Um. Okay. I'm collecting signatures for the Caring Hands Homeless Shelter. There's this great building the city . . ."

"I'd love to sign," Billy interrupts, and he is very proud of the way his hands don't shake when he takes the clipboard from her.

"Don't I know you?" Penny asks.

"No. Not really. Not yet."

 

[Laundromat](http://lunabee34.livejournal.com/173784.html)

**Laundromat, once again,  
Here we are, fumbling**

Toward a thing, thing so sweet,  
My disbelief crumbling

With my freeze ray I have stopped  
The world  
With my freeze ray I have found the time  
To find the words to

Let you know, how I feel  
So in love; you're alive

I don't need Evil Leagues  
Only you, five by five

With my freeze ray I have got the girl  
With my freeze ray I will rule the world  
Wait, no

Coming clean, kinda tough,  
Hope just Billy is enough

To make you see, see how fine  
You plus me, for all time

With my freeze ray I have stopped

 

"And you don't miss it? Not even a little bit?" Moist says.

"No. Yes. No." Billy sighs and dismantles the webcam. "It doesn't matter."

"How can it not matter? The League is your dream, Doctor." Moist leaves little wet fingerprints all over the barrel of the freeze ray when he unscrews it from its tripod.

"I lived the dream," Billy says. "And it was a nightmare. It's not worth it without Penny."

Moist shrugs. "Whatever you say, Doc."

Billy thinks about what Moist said while he's buying frozen yogurt, while his jeans are in the spin cycle, while he and Penny kiss on a bench in the park by the lake. With Penny's red hair falling like a curtain over Billy's face, her delicate jaw cupped in his hands, the decision is easy. So easy.

"Well, hello. Who is this?" says a smarmy voice that Billy thinks he could happily live the rest of his life never hearing again.

Billy pulls away from Penny as the ducks fly away in abject terror from Captain Hammer's boots.

"Dr. Horrible. Long time no see. The world of B villainy just isn't the same without you." Captain Hammer looks Penny up and down in a way that makes Billy's skin crawl. "And this must be your Poison Ivy."

"What, what is he talking about, Billy?"

"Oh, you're a sweet one," Captain Hammer says. "Let me tell you a story."

 

[Captain Hammer Hits One Home](http://lunabee34.livejournal.com/173910.html)

**Listen little mousy girl and listen to me well.  
Your boyfriend's Doctor Horrible  
A minor fiend from Hell.  
Yes, Captain Hammer tells the truth  
When there's the truth to tell  
Dump this jerk. I really think you're swell.**

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.  
It's just funny, Dr., fucking around with you.  
Your lady doesn't know that you walk the evil path  
So I'll give you a sec to catch your breath.

"Billy," Penny says. "Billy, is he telling the truth? Are you Dr. Horrible?"

"Yes," Billy says. "But it's not like that. Captain Douchebag is telling it wrong." Penny's eyes widen and she drops his hand. "Penny, wait. Just listen."

 

[Here's the Story](http://lunabee34.livejournal.com/174088.html)

**Here's the story of a man with a freeze ray no longer freezing  
Could you lend a helping hand battling my demons  
With me?  
Cause every day that goes by takes me closer to the truth  
Believe me when I say that you are someone that I cannot bear to lose**

So, Penny, will you help me please take a different path here  
I gave evil up for you even though I held it so dear.  
Cause every day I walk the straight and narrow just for you   
And though sometimes I miss that life, I promise, Penny, that I will be true.

Penny shakes her head and then she's running, running, and Billy can see the end of everything he's worked so hard to build. "Penny! Penny!" Billy calls but she doesn't even look back.

Captain Hammer slings his arm around Billy's neck. "Them's the breaks, Billy buddy." And then he gives Billy a black eye and an atomic wedgie and he takes the rest of Penny's frozen yogurt with him when he leaves.

Billy doesn't know what to do. He reinstalls the webcam and half-heartedly works on a jet pack. Moist tries to be comforting but mostly he's just humid. This is better, Billy tells himself. This is better than when she was dead. Anything's better than that.

Then one morning, the door to his lab flings open and on the other side is Penny. She's dressed in black latex and her eyelashes look sharp enough to etch glass and her hair is fastened to her head with a pair of slender daggers.

"Penny," he says. "Your clothes. What is this?"

Penny slinks in, and that's exactly what she's doing, her hips working and her bosom heaving and Billy wants to know exactly where in the last two weeks she learned those moves.

"It's okay, Billy. I get it now."

 

[Brand New Me](http://lunabee34.livejournal.com/174587.html)

**You appeared as a moral dilemma.  
Hey, at first I thought, "Weird,"   
Cause my boyfriend's a criminal and   
I'm just a girl, lonely girl.  
I wanna heal the world  
You want to rule.  
So how can it be that you have  
Shown me the light?**

It's a brand new me and  
I'm by your side.  
No other villainesses need apply.

City hall doesn't care and  
The Mayor's a bigot.  
And taxpayers won't spare just an   
Extra dime or nickel.  
And I want things to change  
Tear it down and build it all again.  
You showed me the light.

It's a brand new me and  
I'll stay the course.  
We'll control the League  
And saddle up Bad Horse.   
Let Captain Hammer know  
He's no Thor.

It's a brand new me.

"I watched your blog, Billy. All ninety six hours, and you're right. It's not about making money. It's about taking it and giving it to people who need it more."

"You mean, you and me? Against the world?"

"That's right," Penny says. "Dr. Horrible and Bad Penny. Whenever evil's afoot, I keep turning up."

Dr. Horrible takes Bad Penny into his arms and smears her crimson lipstick down her chin with a kiss.

"We can work on the catchphrase."


End file.
